Question:

Is My Ex-Husband Guilty of Contempt of Court?

My divorce has been final for nearly two years. I have asked on several occasions for family photos that were I was awarded in the final divorce decree. I will not seek the help of the lawyer who "represented" me since I learned too, late he did not. I'm in Michigan.

I just want my pictures of my deceased mother and the children I gave birth to. There are also photos of my great grandparents, the only photos of them in existence in my family. What must I do to get him to comply with what was agreed to in the documents?  Thank you for your time.

Joanne

Answer:

Hi Joanne,

Since I'm not an attorney I can't give you legal advice. I can however tell you what I did in a situation similar to yours. If your ex is refusing to comply with the orders handed down by the court in your final decree of divorce he is clearly in contempt of court.

You do not need an attorney to file a petition for contempt with the courts, this is something you can do yourself as a...post continued

When an Ex is in Contempt You Don't Need an Attorney to Get Him/Her to Comply originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, September 6th, 2010 at 01:47:37.

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Dear Cathy,

I was truly offended by your article and description of the "Other Woman" in a marital affair. The Other Woman, truth be told is a wonderful,loving lady. She is caught in a love triangle without knowing.

I met a guy, Tommy who said he and his wife had drifted apart, which happens... they were living in separate rooms. I can't understand that, I was married for 30 years and the sparks never left, I am now widowed.

Tommy and Patricia were staying together for the financial reasons, not love, not intimacy. So, Tommy knew all the right things to do and say, and we had a world-wind romance for almost a year. Then Patricia saw a smile on his face and Tommy was happy, now she wants marriage counseling, no intimacy, but counseling.

Yes, the trophy wife so to speak, why should she have to go out into the world and work? Give up her lifestyle. Well, she knew how to put the guilt on him, and it worked. Tommy wants to give his marriage one more chance, but I should stand by him and if they can't fix what is broken, which will take many years of therapy, he will come back to me.

Wow, I felt my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. The Other Woman, I am no glamor girl, typical legal secretary with a warm and loving Italian heart, who would do...post continued

Ever Wonder How the "Other Woman" Feels? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Thursday, September 2nd, 2010 at 02:22:09.

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Answer:

My opinion is that parents do what is best for their children. No one understands a child's needs more than the two parents who love the child. When going through a divorce those parents have to be aware of the impact that the divorce will have on the child. As long as parents pay attention to the needs of the child and are able to communicate with each other concerning those needs they will eventually figure what is right for the child.

Have you and your ex-husband been able to talk about the child's reasons for wanting to live with his Dad? If not, you should. As parents, we are responsible for

Should a Child be Allowed to Choose Which Parent to Live With After Divorce? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Thursday, September 2nd, 2010 at 01:00:28.

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Answer:

No, as long as the two of you are married you have the same legal rights to your children that your wife does. Tell her to go but she has to leave the children with you. Married couples have joint legal custody and joint physical custody of their children until and unless the court determines otherwise.

I have two suggestions for you:

1. Consult an attorney before she has the opportunity to file for a divorce. You need an attorney who will file a petition for custody and an access order. Doing this will mean you filing for divorce but, it will always mean you protecting your legal rights as a father.
2. Have your attorney try to come to a written agreement with your wife's attorney regarding the children. The agreement should cover...post continued

Can My Wife Take The Children If She Leaves? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 at 01:00:14.

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From: James J. Gross

Once you decide you are going to get a divorce, there are eleven things you can do to get ready:

1. Start a War Chest:

   You are going to need your own money for a divorce. You will have to be able to maintain yourself and your children for a while if you are dependent on your spouse and your spouse decides to cut off support.

   You will also probably need funds to hire a lawyer. If there is anyway to start a separate account to guard against future financial contingencies, now is the time to do it. If you have to borrow money from a relative or friend, be sure to sign a promissory note so the court will look at this as a loan that you have to repay and not as a gift.

2. Keep a Divorce Calendar:

   If you are currently using a desk calendar or day planner, you will now need to include your divorce events. There will be meetings with your lawyer and court deadlines to keep track of. It may be helpful to keep...post continued

Divorce Advice for Women originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Tuesday, August 31st, 2010 at 01:00:22.

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From: James J. Gross

There are a lot of important actions that men can take to protect themselves in a divorce. Below are eleven things for you to consider regarding specific financial matters:

1. Documents:

   Move your documents, records and other papers somewhere else, like a friend's house or your attorney's office. You can expect that your children's mother will be going through your desk, briefcase, automobile, telephone records, bills, and computer, looking for financial information and other evidence to use against you.

2. Bank Accounts:

   Go to the bank and divide the joint bank accounts in half and deposit your half in your own name. You can also put them all in your name, but sometimes this will make the judge angry with you. However, it is often easier to give money back than to get it back. If you are the breadwinner do not...post continued

Divorce Advice for Men originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, August 30th, 2010 at 01:16:14.

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My ex had no outside interest. His life revolved around family and work. If he wasn't at work, every time I turned around I bumped into him. I encouraged him to take up golf, go our for drinks with his buddies...anything that would give him to opportunity to get away from work and family stress. We spent too much time together which in the end played a role in the demise of our marriage.

There was no sense of space or privacy in my marriage. No balance between work, family and fun. It was as if we gave up being individuals and became one and I'm not someone who believes that marriage means sacrificing yourself.

I believe that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. My ex would have been much more attractive to me if he had, had interests outside work and family. As it was I felt smothered and that I had married a dependent instead of an independent man.

It is scientifically proven that we have more interest in our spouse if we spend...post continued

Can Spending Too Much Time Together Lead to Divorce? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Tuesday, August 24th, 2010 at 01:00:41.

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Below is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict; consider how you are currently dealing with these issues, and how you could better deal with these issues:

• Money problems: Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues. How you decide to deal with money problems in your marriage will determine whether those problems has a negative or positive effect on your marriage.

• Children: Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples. A child is the number one stressor in a marriage and can accentuate differences in beliefs on issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what educational options to choose.

• Sex: Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of stress and disharmony in a marriage.

• Time apart: Time apart and a lack of quality time together serves to get people out of sync with each other.

• Household Responsibilities: Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it. Instead of sitting down and dividing household chores fairly they quibble...post continued

Top 10 Causes of Marital Problems originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, August 23rd, 2010 at 01:02:53.

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To say that Zsa Zsa Gabor has experience with divorce is an understatement. She also had unique views (for her time) about how women should stand up for themselves in divorce and everyday life.

She may not have been full of wisdom when it came to marriage but she was full of wit when it came to divorce. Below are a few memorable one-liners. Please, don't take them seriously lest you end up as Zsa Zsa...married more times than you care to count.

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."

"Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles."

"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."

"How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."

"I learned in school that money isn't everything. It's happiness that counts. So Momma sent me to a different school."

"I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?"

More Divorce Humor

Zsa Zsa Gabor: Nine Times Married, Eight Times Divorced originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Tuesday, August 17th, 2010 at 16:04:42.

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Governor David Patterson signed a bill passing no-fault divorce law for the state of New York. The new bill will allow couples to divorce by mutual consent or unilaterally.

Governor Paterson said in a statement. "These bills fix a broken process that produced extended and contentious litigation, poisoned feelings between the parties and harmed the interests of those persons -- too often women -- who did not have sufficient financial wherewithal to protect their legal rights. I commend the sponsors on providing a real and effective legislative solution to a problem that has for too long bedeviled ordinary New Yorkers."

Evidently Governor Patterson knows nothing about divorce in those states that already have no-fault divorce laws. It is the two people divorcing who determine how "contentious" the litigation becomes, not the laws of the state. Too bad states can't adopt laws require couples to be civil and respectful during the divorce process.

To say that no-fault divorce laws protect the financial interest of anyone is ludicrous. It is especially so as far as women and children go. No-fault divorce laws give free reign to men who want to abandon a wife and his children. I'm not sure why Governor Patterson believes a woman will have more "sufficient financial wherewithal to protect their legal rights" under a no-fault system. A woman will fare as well under no-fault laws as she did under fault laws. In most cases that isn't very well.

What do no-fault divorce laws really mean for the state of New York? It means a man can be left, with no legal recourse should his wife find someone new. She, more than likely can take his children, change forever the time his is allowed to have with his children, request alimony and get child support all on a whim.

A woman can be left to raise her children alone or after decades of marriage face her retirement years alone should some prettier, younger model come along. Her husband can sail off into the sunset with his new sweetie while the old model works well past the age of retirement just to keep a roof over her head.

No-fault divorce, just like fault divorce is not in the best interest of most. Lies are told, harm is done and feelings are "poisoned" regardless of the laws. At least under fault divorce laws you have to work your way out of a marriage. People are forced to stop and think twice before dismantling something that was once precious to them. That is no longer the case in New York.

New York Goes No-Fault originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, August 16th, 2010 at 00:58:23.

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